I write this as I have been rejected from probably 100 job this past month and find myself getting stuck in a hole of wanting to be working but being unable to find something. Its important in these trying times to take a step back and realize that you may not have been the best person for the job and that it might be for the best that you didn't get it. But as a recent college grad it's easy to say that and then watch as your friends get jobs and apartments, and slowly move on. I've been disappointed for the entire month of September and really allowed myself to get into my own head about it, constantly beating myself down for "not being good enough". I fight internally every single day, watching loved ones get jobs or prepare to move away, and I think to myself "why can't I get anything, what am I missing?". The reality of the situation is that I am really not missing anything. I have put my best foot forward at every chance that I have been given, and many that I have had to create along the way.
The fear of failure is what motivates me, and although I know that I will fail over and over again I find it harder and harder to deal with failing every single day. Life becomes an expected "what will I fail at today" and you get stuck in your own head failure after failure. Of course I have had job offers, but they have come from MLM's or companies that once their growth threshold is met they fire the most recent employee's in order to maintain a profit. All of this has been discouraging to say the least.
A failure a day can be healthy, but constant and consistent failure can make you feel like one. There is no one way to deal with failure like that, but I want to share some tips that I have been using, because maybe it'll help someone other than me.
1) At the end of a bad day, do something for someone else. It sounds so simple but the act of kindness can help you to feel like less of a nothing and more of a something. You can see the positive impact that you have in the world and it will bolster your resolve in the long run!
2) Take 10 minutes to sit by yourself and meditate. Meditation is a great way to focus on your strengths and gives you time for introspection. The best time to meditate can be before bed as you are concentrating above all else on your breathing. Allow yourself to loosen up a little and just focus on your breathing. Address any thought that comes to mind in a calm and collected manner and if it is stressing you out, take a mental step back to refocus on breathing.
3) Scream into a pillow. This one is probably the one that I do the most. The simple act of screaming can allow you to release pent up aggression in a nonviolent way. Don't knock it until you try it.
4) Talk with someone about how you are feeling. Odds are someone in your life cares and has noticed that you are stressed, they are just too nice to say anything about it. Be straight forward and honest about what you are feeling and really listen to what they have to say about it. However if they start telling you that you are right, stop the conversation and move on.
5) Take a personal day. You are probably thinking that every day is a personal day when you are unemployed but such is not the case. You need time to yourself to reaffirm what you want. Take a day where you just look at emails at the start and end of the day, instead of checking every single 20 minutes. Do something you enjoy and actively relax for a day.
Regardless of how you feel about failure, know that no matter what someone is rooting for you, and never count yourself out. You are gonna do great things, you just have to believe that you can. I believe in you too.
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